Parents warned over secretive online 'Com' networks

Parents are being urged to watch for signs that a child may be involved in a dangerous online network linked to exploitation and extreme cyberbullying, as awareness grows of loosely connected groups known as "The Com".

The term refers to online groups operating across multiple platforms, including Discord, Telegram and Snapchat. They can draw in young people through exclusivity and private communities.

A recent report by online risk consultancy Resolver, produced with the Molly Rose Foundation, describes Com networks as a global online ecosystem linked to extreme cyberbullying, exploitation, violence, crime and abuse. It warns that the networks can target young people for sexual abuse and pressure them into real-world violence or self-harm. Young people may also be coerced into acts against others.

Jessica Wilson, Managing Director of Eventum Legal, said parents can struggle to recognise when online contact crosses into coercion or grooming.

"For many parents, the idea of their child being drawn into something like this is unthinkable. It's terrifying that this could be thrust on them from platforms they use every day," Wilson said.

Hidden escalation

These groups can be hard to spot because activity often shifts quickly and stays hidden from adults.

"These networks thrive on secrecy and escalation, which can make it difficult for parents to recognise when something has gone wrong," Wilson said.

Not every child involved understands what they are being asked to do or the potential consequences, she added. "Many of the children caught up in them are not acting with criminal intent, but are being groomed or manipulated - and that's where informed, early intervention can make all the difference."

Warning signs

One key red flag is a sudden change in how a child uses their devices. Increased secrecy around a phone or laptop may come with withdrawal, irritability, or mood changes.

"Young people don't want parents seeing their online chats and some behaviour might be similar to that of a typical teen, but if you spot any sudden changes, that's when alarm bells should start ringing," Wilson said.

Parents should also notice how a child reacts when notifications arrive or when someone enters the room. "Switching screens suddenly, refusing to talk about the friends they're speaking to online and being jumpy when notifications arrive – these could be signs your child is experiencing some form of cyber harm," she said.

Changes in routine can also matter. Unexplained late nights, staying in a bedroom for long periods, or refusing to let family members in may warrant closer attention, particularly if the behaviour is new or escalating.

While many teenagers stay up late gaming or socialising online, Wilson said parents should look at the wider pattern. "Lots of teens stay up late gaming but if late-night activity is combined with signs of anxiety or stress, then intervention is needed."

She also warned that escalation can move beyond screens. "Unfortunately, when the online threats escalate, there could be evidence in their bedroom that they don't want you to see."

How to respond

Specialists and legal advisers stress that a parent's response can shape what happens next. A confrontational approach may cause a child to withdraw further or hide activity that could later be relevant to an investigation.

Wilson advised choosing a calm moment and avoiding an interrogation or accusation. "A calm, supportive approach is far more effective than panic or confrontation. Choose a quiet moment to talk, ask open questions about what they're experiencing online, rather than anything they might have done wrong."

Reassurance can be critical if a child fears punishment or believes they will be blamed. "Reassurance is key – tell them that they're not in trouble if they confide in you," she said.

Wilson also cautioned against immediately confiscating a device or deleting accounts, which can heighten anxiety and remove information that may be needed later. "Don't confiscate devices or delete accounts right away. This can increase the fear your child is feeling and cause a lot of anxiety and distress. It can also wipe crucial evidence."

Evidence and advice

Preserving messages, images and chat histories can be important where criminal activity is suspected or where a child may have been groomed, threatened or coerced. Wilson said it can matter for safeguarding and any legal process that follows.

"If your child has any criminal involvement, you need to keep the evidence of them being groomed and intimidated."

She added that there are active investigations into The Com, and information about a child's experience could be relevant beyond a single family.

"This will ensure your child isn't unfairly punished, should things take a legal turn. There are active investigations into The Com, and evidence of your child's experience could prevent another young person going through the same thing."

Wilson urged families to seek professional guidance if they are unsure whether their child is at risk of harm, at risk of offending, or both. "If you're unsure if your child is positioned on the right or wrong side of the law, seek legal support as soon as possible."